So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I can't put those talents on a resume
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
