Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Couch. On fire.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
