You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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