you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
