well you can't waste a boner
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
