Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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