i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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