this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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