I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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