So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Randomize
