On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
