How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
