No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
