Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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