I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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