is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
