dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
