I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
