its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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