It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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