Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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