i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
