This girl is more easily done than said...
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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