hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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