508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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