just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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