Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
