we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
