I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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