can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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