Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
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