you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
