Hey man sorry I got all grabby
this beer tastes like vomit already
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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