Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
