so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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