I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
