i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
