So drunk its hurt
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
