don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
