Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
