pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
