I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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