Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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