You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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