Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
