Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
