He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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