she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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