You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he shaved USA in his pubs
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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