you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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