Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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