if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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