Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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