I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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