I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
