I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
