Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
