Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
