I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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