Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
